Eh-y

Today I was told by a man with a blotchy neck and an allergy to tree pollen that unless I get certain grades I'll basically become the pariah. So I've come up with some possible careers, please, be patient, I do realise the chances of me being qualified enough for these are very small...peace out.

I'll become a Thai-dye wearing gypsy. My caravan will be my home and will be pulled by a flea bitten mule that's on the verge of death.

I'll work in M.Dons with multiple facial piercings, purple hair and various tattoos of dragons and moths, maybe a spiderweb on my neck.

I'll become a Self-Help Group addict and live on benefits.

I won't be able to afford a mobile, I'll communicate through smoke signals.

If I'm lucky I may be able to scavenge meals from bins.

I'll move illegally to Holland where I'll become a hooker/stripper/kiss-o-gram/prison inmate.

I'll become an artist's muse. I will have his child and I'll call him Sorrow, after the kid in Tess of the D'Urbs but will then leave him after he hits us in a drunken rage.

I'll be a hobo living outside of Sainsburys and if for some reason i feel classy enough, I'll move to the outside of Waitrose and sit in the cast iron carriage thing with a decidedly depressed expression on my face.

I'll busk next to the guy in town with the toy drum. I'll play out of sync with him on a toy banjo.

I'll move to Spalding. Yeah, I know what you're thinking, where? exactly.

I'll become a one hit wonder. The wonder will be how they got the technology to actually make me sound okay.

I'll become a cleaner with gambling issues.

I'll move to Vegas where I'll be told to wear a lot of feathers and sequins and to pop my hip and smile like so.

I'll move to Suffolk and work in a brewery, wear shorts all year round and stink of cider.

I'll become a fraud and change my name to Hope Springs for the cruel irony.

Maybe I'll become a cannibal and be admitted to a asylum where at least I'll have a cell to myself.

I may just disappear one day and be found 2 weeks later in a ditch in Deli, India.

I'll become a stunt woman and live up to my name as The Olympic Torch. My party trick will be setting myself on fire, same difference to every other day really.

I'll become an old maid working in a library, a prison library.

An assassin.

A bus driver.

Maybe I'll become one of those people hired to hold other rich peoples lipstick and keys because their husbands don't want them to buy them clutch bags to complete outfits because the purse is £200.

Maybe I'll sell my body to science.

       Just keeping my options open. Feel free to comment on this one x

The Olympic Torch xx