You know how when it's so hot that you can literally see heat waves penetrating the ground, your mind just shuts down in spite of the fact that you might be having a potentially argh-worthy paper in the coming week? It's been one of those days.
One-and-a-half wasted days when I should be making desperate love to poetry and Mansfield and I spend it with my mind drifting all over the place. But it did settle on one disturbingly interesting, persistent thought.
Have any of you ever wondered, when you're standing on the edge of that 15-story building, what it would feel like to just jump? Given the fact that I'm an altophobe, I definitely find it strange that the idea's been tossed around in my head for quite some time. It didn't help that re-watching that particular episode of Bones served to rekindle an old flame.
I think if my mother ever found out about this, I'd be sent straight back into therapy, but I'm not particularly suicidal. I just wonder what it'd feel like. I don't really know how to explain it. I think we all have those days.
Maybe if I ever get down to it, I'll let you know from the other side.
The Olympic Torch xx
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